I was in a very dark place - stuck in a hole that I didn’t know how to get out of. The only thing that really kept me going was my child. One day when I looked into my child’s eyes I knew I couldn’t continue like this and thought, “Man, I need to make sure that I’m here for my child in the future and something needs to change.” I felt like I needed to be a role model for my child - the role model I always needed in my life but never had. The last thing I would want is for my child or anyone to go through what I’ve been going through over these years.
I decided to contact Marcy not knowing what the possible outcome would be or if my life would change in any way. But I decided to take a risk because I really needed to change the direction my life had been going. I feared the alternative and feared for my daughter’s well-being if I was no longer here for her.
After sharing my story, Marcy first had me fill out a questionnaire with all sorts of questions like;
I honestly had a hard time filling out a lot of these questions and it took me some time, because I had forgotten who I was. I realized that the depression I had been suffering from for so long had caused me to become numb to all the things I remember being passionate about, especially from my childhood. This exercise forced me to take a step back and remember the good things that used to make me happy and excited. By remembering these things and talking about them with Marcy, certain feelings started coming up. Feelings that I knew I had to face in order to move forward. I realized that a lot of the problems I faced stemmed from my childhood. I always knew that I didn’t have a typical childhood like many of my friends, and over these last few years I’ve been realizing how much my past has really affected my life, and molded me into the person I am today. My parents taught me that in order to have a stable, normal life with minimal difficulties, I had to play it safe. For me, that meant that I had to follow all of their rules. I was always a creative person and passionate about the arts, but I allowed my parents to influence me in believing that my life wouldn’t be prosperous in this line of work, so I had to do something more stable, such as a career in business where there would always be a job. I also wanted to make my parents happy more than anything and honestly feared everything they told me about the creative path, so I decided to follow a stable career path. But in reality, what I actually did was sacrifice my true happiness in order to make the people I really care about happy.
“I reached out to Marcy because I’d been struggling with my career these last ten years, which eventually left me in a very deep depression that had spiraled out of control. At the beginning of this year, I felt like I had hit rock bottom and I was really contemplating the purpose of my existence.
- Gretchen Bleiler -
After I completed and discussed the questionnaire with Marcy, she started introducing me to people that she thought I should talk to based on what I shared with her. She introduced me to people with similar interests, and even similar stories to mine, where they felt stuck at some point in their lives. These people shared with me the obstacles they had to overcome in order to reach a place that brought them more fulfillment and joy. I noticed that some of their stories had a common theme: fear. Fear of failing, fear of not being supported by the people that meant the most to them and fear of not making enough money to survive in a career they were truly passionate about. By talking to these people, I didn’t feel so alone anymore.
Marcy also encouraged me to go on a spiritual retreat, which I did, to help further explore the underlying issues I’ve been struggling with that were holding me back from what I always thought I should be doing. The experience helped me look at my past in more detail and taught me how to let go of all those things that brought me so much pain over the years. I learned that it was ok not to hold on to them anymore because they were only hurting me and preventing me from reaching my full potential. The people I met at the retreat also taught me some very useful skills and techniques that I’ve been using daily to be a more positive person as I had become such a negative and pessimistic person over the years.
In these last three months working with Marcy, I have seen such a difference in my attitude and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. The burdens I was feeling for so long have been easing. I feel so much more energetic and positive about my future and what I want to do next. Marcy is exactly the person I needed in my life to tell me that it’s ok to feel what I’ve been feeling, that it’s ok to feel scared, lost, and off-track because I’m not alone, and it’s a part of life that so many people go through. Life can get complicated and confusing, but now I know there are so many more people out there just like me who were able change their lives and live their true passion and purpose but it does take time, work, and commitment. It also takes a lot of work to let go of your fears and emotional baggage, but it can be done with some work and support. Sometimes all it takes to set you on the right path is to ask that one person for help, and your whole life can change in a way that you never thought was possible. The help is out there and I wish I had reached out to Marcy sooner because I was suffering for so long yet I didn’t have to. Marcy got me back on track by holding weekly meetings and she helped me set goals for what I wanted to achieve. She made it feel less scary and fear was something that always held me back. She held me accountable for the things I wanted to accomplish and got me into a routine that I so desperately needed, but just didn’t know where to start. She helped me believe in myself again, and in my talents. She provided all these additional resources and knowledge that I wasn’t even aware of because I had the door closed for so long and kept myself isolated from possibility. Sometimes I think I met her for a reason like she was my angel who brought me back to this light that I buried so many years ago. I am so thankful for her and recommend her to anyone who needs that boost to get back on the track of their life’s purpose. We all have a purpose and I genuinely believe we all know what it is the day we are born, or from early childhood, but sometimes it gets lost because life happens, and we lose control. Without realizing it, we lose control and allow all these extraneous things to get in the way. But your passion and purpose can be rediscovered by simply asking the right person for help. We are all in control of our own life and that’s something that took me a long time to realize but I am working on it. And it’s all thanks to Marcy for getting me back on track."
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